THE SILENT CONVERSATION.....

It is on days like today.......when in the silence of solitude, words form that will never be uttered. Not for fear of anything but what they mean. Often within ourselves we loose sight of what is important to us and who we are important to.........

Often a silence speaks louder than words, an even louder conversation when that selfsame silence is cold.....
Warmth sometimes come unexpected.....from a place least suspected but constitutes warmth none the less... An old cliche states that to have loved and lost is better than to have not loved at all............. we sometimes let love walk away without realising what we have done, only to do so when it's too late to do anything about it..


Think about it....

TAKE TIME TO LIVE...

So some days are the pits and some are the greatest of our lives.........Live for those that make the bad ones worth while.
When u think you have found it, it eludes u.... Live in those rare and hard to appreciate moments of living and take time to love, to care and to just be.
Sometimes its an ending.... Live for a new beginning.
When you think its over, a huge knock comes out of nowhere........ Find courage somewhere and pick up the pieces....

And when you live..... Live not only for yourself but for the ones you love......Take time for the simple things and make them the things that matter the most.

THE BLACK HOLE

In the emptiness of the begining......
So solid
So infinite
Bursting with rays of light, never penetrating
What was... the black hole of my soul.....
The essence of my beginning..

Infinately u broke through....
Divergent like rays of light
Through prisms of my becoming.....

The religion of you faith sustained the becoming of my being
Thus the black hole became.....

SOME DAYS

Some days are easy.... some.....harder than others.
Some days I need you more than I did before
On other days it even becomes hard to breath
My tears of longing
Have long since turned to just tears
Dry rivers of salt water, never ending
It hurts... With every breath i take inbetween the sobs
And my heart..... My heart beats in silence
A beat less, since you went away
On some days I wish to wake up to hear your voice
Only to wake up to my own
On some days I wish i had told you....... before you went away
Some days i long to hear you....if only for a while
And some days, I think of you and just smile
And on days inbetween i try very hard to supress the tears as I realise that you have gone away

JUST BECAUSE

Jst because it's a begining
Does not make it a new start
Jst because it's a finish line
Does not make it an ending
Jst because you loved me
Does not make me eternally yourz
Jst because you hurt me
Does not make me hate you
Just because you blamed me
Does not make it my fault

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it!

U got the outfit, the man and the venue, adn then it happns, knocking u off your feet and breaking your balance... when walking into the resturant u c at the corner of your eye... ur ex wit his new sqeeze.... ur ex best frnd.........what do you do? option number one: Knock that B#%^# upside the head. Option number two: knock that shmuck up side the head or option number three: go over there and greet, turn around and walk away....

Worst case scenario, point is, we deal wit situations the best we know how... and truth be told, being the bigger or better person is not always easy, I mean, Heloooooooooooo! How dare they? rite? wrong......... the effect of what somebody does or tries to do to you is given power and momentum by how you choose to react to it....easier said then done.... So I had this friend, who stole ma man and I had this man who got stolen by my friend.... tough takkies... shit happns rite? wrong.. sometimes we tend to have expectations from our friends like oh.....i dnt knw.... loyalty? and how bout Honest? yeah and a little bit of compassion now and again..............

So i had the blow up, the "i will never forgive u", " the they deserve each other and the "I dnt love him animre" wondering and working my head around what i would do if i saw them again! Untill i did! (Unexpectadly i mite add.... thank u very much) and well..............It hit me, they realy deservd each other, what do they say "bird of a feather, flock together" the relationship didnt last and well...............karma baby! karma!

THE HAPPY CHAPPY!

"The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."- Allan K. Chalmers

Every once in a while we find ourselves within ourselves.... cryptic? I think not. So Oprah always says, take charge of your life, live a little, smile a little and laugh out loud.... I agree Laugh and laugh and laugh at yourself some more........ Many a time getting out of bed and facing the world seems like a chore, but not only that, like a slavery contract that jst dsnt want to end.... and we live our lives constrictd by our own inhibitions.... do what makes u smile, and smile while you doing it.... Laugh, untill it hurts and when it does cry untill you can't animre and then jst pick urself up and be........................THE HAPPY CHAPPY!

NIGHTS YOU WILL NEVER REMEMBER, WITH FRIENDS YOU WILL NEVER FORGET......

New street.........the social hub of lil' old Grahamstown.......where everithing and everbody congregate(for lack of a better, more befitting word) So for the past couple of months since my arrival in the dorpie I've been going to the watering holes and the dance floors pretty much every weekend...

Some nights are a blurr...... well not totally a blurr but well, some nights are very sketchy and it usually takes a couple of other people to piece the puzzle together..........Thats where they come in.... they have made sure i get home, handled the .........regurgetations(well putting it bluntly was jst too blunt) and nursed me through many a hangover............many, many a hangover.... and i have done the same.... Finding friends that bother and care enough to leave the fun and follow the drunk (the very negative connotation probably changes the picture all together!) but alas! they do....... for the many months that i have been here and the many months that they have put up with me its actually quite amazing..........so the one thing that would be befitting enough would probably be "Thanx alot bros', zambiruz, peto's etc..... you dont have to but you do....

FAITH LIKE POTATOES

True to the title, faith can be described as an inner growing form of sustinance to the soul. Rooting itslf deeply, never letting go.................untill unceremoniously it is ripped out, shattering it's meer foundations and rendering it helpless if not useless......Doubfully, faith is not that fickle but rather grows as deep as you want it to and enchores itself through not only the rainy days when the foundation is vuanarable but also on days when harvest time is close.....A rather long and seeming unjointed methaphor....Maybe, or maybe faith is what we want it to be. There has always been a thin line between faith and religion and even though they co-exist who is to say one cannot exist without the other? Can religion be described as the soil or the roots? For if it is the soil then faith does not grow without it but if it is the roots then through religion faith firmly roots itself and expands it's horizon..................Compare it to whatever you want, Faith is, what faith has always been.

LOVE THY SELF.........AND SO WILL THY NEIGBOUR

OK..........so you have this aquintance who you cant seem to get along with. Best way to deal with it? Love thy self................not everybody is going to like you the sooner you accept that the better, not everbody is going to have the right idea about you and your intentions, have them anyway. As long as you can wake up in the morning and look at yourself in the mirror knwing that everyday you go out there and do something pleasing to you...........................then y bother. We constantly live our lives under the radar, fearing rejection from popular culture because we fear ourselves........so she said you were wierd.......big deal, who cares? so apparently you are very annoying, alot of other people still enjoy you company. It doesnt matter what is said about you but what you say about yourself.........so love thy neigbour ( not necessarily). Love thy self.........most definately.

JUDGE, JURY AND XECUTIONER.............

WHAT happens when individuals are threated by state of being of others....................You tend to judge what you dnt understand, condemning it and making a decision based on whatever prejudice you have. You never learn to see through the clouds of your existance. The boundaries we create around ourselves create an aura of a false sense of superiority that when we are toppled from our king or queendoms our fall from grace leaves much to be desired. Granted people make perceptions, granted we drift towards what we knw, granted we are too secure in our own little worlds and life settles into a bubble.........pop it before somebody else pops it for you.........................

BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE

We live our lives in accordance to some divine rule of law,abiding by those of the country and our own personal convictions.

Sometimes we tend to want to do things that might be in contravention with one or the other. The rock or hard place. Striving for a safe alternative we choose that which is the most "normal" and societally acceptable. How do you decide to make a choice? Live by the law of the one or by the law of the many? How much of yourself do you sacrifice when making a hard decision? If there was a grey area between the rock and the hard place, where would you place yourself?

LET IT ALL OUT

We seldom say what we mean and hardly ever mean what we say. Phylosophical? i thnk not. So we say these things that we think will hurt less, destroy less and make fogiveness so much easier to get. We have these verbal explosions within ourselves that nobody gets to hear,we internalise whatever we really want to say or what we think adn say what will make us seem less mean, challanging or more of something we are not. So hw many times in a day do you wish you had jst said it?

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE TOUGH GETS GOING

We realise that sometimes life hands us lemons but how many of them can be turned into lemonade? People give up all the time, looking for greener pastures or jst hoping to find that little place under the sun that makes everithng worth it.....we tend to discard where we are, in the hope that we are elevating our situation to that of a higher place? So should you quit? HELL NO! Quiting is sometimes the easy way out........will you ever knw? the decisions we dont make tend to affect other that we do? We choose our strength and by default choose our weakness.
I dnt believe that we should give up........but rather accept defeat and try again. Your life's work depends on what you choose to make important or worth it.

So when the going gets tough...............................only the weak manage to overide the tide

AND WE STOOD

When we have nothing to stand for we tend to fall for anything. How many people do you know have had dreams and let them slide? we live for the moment, right? wrng....the moments tend to add up and suddenly you realise that they have turned into mre than jst simple moments that have been wasted, falling for everithng and standing for nothing.

We all have spines........but few of us have backbones. You are born into society and are lucky to fit in right? Wrng. Normality is a state of mind. Nothing great is ever achieved within the constraints of normality. Bt hey dnt take my word for it! Live a little, see thngs thru your eyes and not the eyes of society. Everithng is subject to change even change itself.

"And we stood for something, willing to be blown by winds of discouragement, to never fall for anythng"